13 November 2007


January 20 - February 17
You enjoy your freedom, dear Aquarius. You are a very independent person and you hate it when anything gets in your way. That's all right, but you may want to take a look at your financial situation even if that's not really your thing. You tend to resent having to deal with these lowly material questions, but if you don't, you could severely restrict your freedom to live life to its fullest. Be reasonable about things.


oh crap. i just turned single and now im in a financial rutt.

04 November 2007


Good Afternoon Readers,

It's been about 4 months since I've moved down here to San Diego. So many changes have occured between now and then and I'm so eager as to figure out WHY things are the way they are now. I've been focusing so much on adjusting to my new lifestyle that I've realized how ignorant I can be when it comes to focusing on myself. I've never felt so emotional and sensitive to who I am and the choices I've made, especially in these past few weeks. I've learned that you can't deny how you feel, and even if you do, it will show in your behavior and your "everyday" facial expressions.

The Balance of Life and Love.

Life and Love are definitely two different things that have to have an equal balance in order for both to function accordingly. I have failed to hold that balance. As some of you might already know, Jaybe and have departed our ways. We have grown to be so dependent upon each other that we realized how individually different we have become since our beginning days. Basically, Love weighed more than Life. I have invested so much into our relationship that I realized that I lost who I was, the real me. I understand that people change through time, and that other social factors play a great part into shaping a person's traits and characteristics. But our bag grew to the point where we couldn't hold onto it any longer and I had to LET GO. How cliche this may sound, but listening to Britney Spears' unreleased song, LET GO (previously posted on my blog) portrayed a significant message into mine and Jaybe's relationship:

When you let go
Of all you've known
The butterflies fly
And you will see the way it goes
And all the love
Everything will be shown
So let go
Let go

- Britney Spears

I love him. He Loves Me.

We both initiated that our LOVE for eachother is still there. As a matter of fact, I believe it will ALWAYS be there. But for now, letting go is the best way to contain this love. We have an entire life to experience and if we held on any longer, the imbalance of love and life would lose signicance in each and every one of these life events. For example, Jaybe has never experienced the art of dating. Ever since he was younger, he was always involved in a committing relationship. He lost his innocence so fast that he realized how much he has lost as a person. I, too, have a lot to experience and lost ever since I have become more dependednt on Jaybe. I went through a downward cycle from giving everything to a minimum in a matter of years. Time can only tell where our relationship was heading.

We both wanted freedom.

Thinking that moving down to San Diego would enlighten our thoughts and indivuality, only led us into realizing that there is more to Life then just each other. A higher priority for the both of us is to complete our education; for Jaybe to complete his nursing program and for me to obtain a Master's Degree in Psychology. Through this, all the in-betweens from Now and Tomorrow are just as factors that will help us grow as indivuals. Who knows. We both have an equal chance on meeting new people, but that's exactly what we want. Getting to know others around us will play an important part into helping define who we are outside of our relationship. I can reconnect with my friends that I lost along the way, and Jaybe can develop new friendships with his fellow colleagues. Time will be invested more on getting-to-knows instead of having-to-go. Life will be more generated into a whole instead of a part, our relationship.

So Far, So Good.

Since our love for each other has applied into a stronger friendship, Jaybe and I have are still adjusted to living together. We both know that we can't sacrifice moving away or even move back home to LA since we have a life in San Diego to fulfill. We still have each other's support towards completing and reaching for our hopes and dreams. And until the day we will get there, JBX will only grow stronger.

JBX: Livin' It. Lovin' It. Rockin' It!