07 May 2007

WHAT IS DESTINY?

I’ve been thinking. What is destiny? Is destiny something that you want? Is it something that you need? Is it a future or even a place? Is it the state of realizing that wherever you start today, manifests into where you’ll be tomorrow? What is it? I’ve been thinking about my destiny. I’ve been thinking about where I’ll be, let alone, who I’ll be.

I know one thing for sure. I know that I want to be successful. I want to finish and graduate from college and at the same time, experience my remainder days in college. I want to have a stable and well-paying career, and at the same time, happiness. As of right now, I’m heading towards becoming a registered nurse. That’s my primary goal. In a matter of 4 years, I’ve attended two different colleges and switched between two different majors. I live off the edge. I’ve been successful consecutively since my days as a child. But that was then, and this is now.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I will one day become a nurse. I’ve been committed to reach this goal, since I’ve realized what I do today, extremely matters into whom I am and what I’ll be. In this case I continue, to search for my destiny. I already found a part of life, I believe is an important ingredient to the purpose of life, Love. I’ve been committed with Jaybe for a little over two years, and within these past few years of knowing him, I’ve learned so much about how love works, and how to relate it with life. He’s been completely supportive with everything I believe and everything I’ve represented. He has watched me grow from being so dependent upon others, only to help me rely more on myself. I know that destiny has brought him to me as much as it has brought me to him. Love is something we’ve created and experienced and we both know that everyday should be celebrated with eachother’s love.

Another part that makes me question destiny is happiness. Will someone’s destiny always bring him or her happiness? What if someone was destined to fail? What if they were destined to commit a terrible crime and live off life in between the cracks and crevices of the earth? I want to have a happy and satisfying destiny. I don’t want to survive life without the thrill of waking up in the morning knowing what I’ll be doing or who I’ll be waking up next to. I know that the presence of family makes one’s life work. Although relationship tend to fade or scratch, I hope that my relationship with my family remains in true connection. That would be happiness. Distance can grow, but attachment can remain. Ever since I was a kid, I carried a strong attachment with my family. This is part of the reason why I’ve become so dependent with others, I guess. Either way, it’s a mold on how I became who I am today.

That felt good. It felt good thinking about life and where I want my destiny to be. Even though I still wont know where I’ll be in the next few years, decades, or lifetime, I hope I remain being myself. Jaybe always reminds me how important I am to him and that alone makes me feel special for being myself. Wow. Thinking about that made me think of an equation. Life + Love = Destiny. Hmm. I guess that is true in this context. You cant live life without love. And If you take away love from your destiny, life will left alone. It all makes sense in the end.

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